As we continue to navigate these weird, in-between times of “what was” while waiting on “what will be," the Institute of Boggus Talk (IBT) is working diligently to find ways to keep our aviation system successfully moving forward. Our staff is working day and night on how to sanitize our nation's air transportation industry.
As an industry, we've used quite a bit of printer ink and pixels waxing poetically about how to entice passengers back to our nation's airports. Primarily, this conversation has centered on how to make passengers feel safe. Our goal has become to make airports "Safe to Depart" (STD). The IBT realizes that every airport needs an STD program, and when it comes to STDs, we know our stuff.
So, let's talk about the new IBT AC-5200 (Airport Cleanliness) directive. Not to be outdone by the FAA, IATA, ICAO, or TRB, the IBT has developed our own SOP (silly, onerous policy) on airport cleanliness. The big difference is that the IBT AC is not overly wordy, has no legal jargon, and contains a smidgeon of common sense.
Whether or not we clean with CDC-approved chemicals and disinfectants or dirty mop water, the biggest thing that our passengers want to see is "seeing it cleaned." Marketing an alphabet group's certificate of assurance that the airport is using the right chemicals is nothing but advertising. We need assurance that certified chemicals/disinfectants were used, when they were used, and if they are still working.
The IBT has determined that "The Smell Test" (TST) is a bona fide way many people use to determine a facility's cleanliness. If a space smells clean, it must be clean, so it passes TST.
Suppose we can agree that TST, whether useful or not in eradicating germs and/or viruses, can help passengers feel better about our facilities. In that case, we can deploy other steps to further our STDs.
1. Schedule hold room/departure lounge cleaning immediately before flight banks.
Let the passengers see the cleaning. Seeing cleaning going on has more validity than just telling people the hold rooms are clean. How do you feel when you get on a plane the airline has told you they've disinfected before your boarding only to find someone's old napkin or food wrapper in your seatback pocket or stuffed in the crease of your seat?
It takes a split-second for you to form an opinion on their cleaning policy. The same goes for airports. If you cannot physically do a cleaning before every flight, at least spray disinfectant on the furniture and congregation areas. This exercise will help you with TST.
2. Incorporate dynamic signage to inform passengers of cleanings.
We've seen some airports with dynamic signage at every toilet facility. The signage tells you when the restroom was cleaned, how many stalls are available, and where the nearest toilet room is.
What if we used similar signage in each hold room to inform passengers of their outbound flight information but also when the departure lounge was last cleaned. For many passengers, seeing is believing – and the next best thing to TST.
Of course, the problem is the people. Humans naturally stink at social distancing. While many diverse groups have different personal space requirements, people generally want to assemble.
Don't believe me? Try this.
Go to a grocery store with ten or so of your friends. Start a line at the counter where you rent carpet cleaners, and I guarantee you others will get in line or, at a minimum, ask you why you are in line.
No one wants to be left out, just like gate huggers at our airports. And, generally, that's OK.
However, the "Karens" and the "Kens" of the world make it difficult for all of us. Some people don't want to comply, will not comply, or have a burr in their bonnet about anyone telling them what to do. People have meltdowns over having to wear a mask, limitations on what they can buy, wearing shoes on planes, wearing clothes on planes, reclining in their seats, and even the window shade position.
There are many barriers to flying today that relate to STDs. If the common denominator is the passengers wanting to "have it their way," to borrow from old Burger King commercials – incidentally, Burger King abandoned the slogan in 2014 – then perhaps we need a Passenger Control Plan (PCP).
Part of the PCP can be the introduction of a Passenger Compliance Device, or PCD. The PCD can be a shock collar, an electric ankle bracelet, or even a passenger's smart device. Connected to their Bluetooth enabled face mask, the collar, bracelet or smart device delivers a small electric charge when the mask is not covering the nose and mouth.
Come on, the TV Series Holey Moley subjected golfers to mild electrical stimulus if they did not make their putt correctly. If it's good for Rob Riggle, it's good for me. And these days, who doesn't enjoy a stimulus?
So, let's recap, shall we?
1. Our airports need to be STD-ready.
2. To get that way, both airports and airlines need to pass TST.
3. As an industry in this "anything goes" time, we need to consider implementing PCPs.
4. An option is to deploy PCDs to our passengers
What's not to like? Sure, you can spend a lot of money doing other things, but those other things may not prepare you for STD.
That's it. That's the entire content of the IBT's AC-5200. Feel free to share it and use it.
The Institute of Boggus Talk, rebuilding aviation one piece at a time.
