This is a true story.
Long ago and far away, on an airport that shall forever remain unidentified, the guvmint required a new beacon light atop a water tower on the airport. No problem. The beacon was obtained and the airport authority hired a local electrical firm to install it exactly as specified by the guvmint. Measurements were taken.
Panic! A major problem appeared. The tower was barely within the height limit allowed by the feds. If the beacon was installed as per specs the tower—with beacon—would become ever so slightly taller than allowed.
There was a much-learned discussion about this problem. Careful reading of guvmint regulations made it clear that the beacon installation couldn’t be changed in any way. Likewise, the tower—with beacon—absolutely, positively, could not be even one inch taller than specified. What to do? The problem seemed insolvable.
Then Jodie, an electrician’s assistant, spoke up. Jodie was a local fellow untrained in the intricacies of guvmint airport regulations. He was not a trained engineer. Nobody had asked his opinion.
But Jodie was one of those fellows blessed with a super abundance of common sense. “Ain’t y’all got a dump truck?†he asked. “Dump truck!†was the amazed response. “How could we solve this with a dump truck?â€
“Well,†Jodie said, “you could shorten the tower. Just dump a bunch of dirt all around the tower. That’d make the tower shorter from the ground to the top.â€
That’s what they did. I’ve flown in and out of that airport several times, but I just learned this story last week. As far as I know, dirt, tower, and beacon are all still there.
I think we should find Jodie and send him to Washington. Who knows, he might come up with a solution to our financial fiasco. In the meantime, if the guvmint wants to pursue this story, well, it’s really not true, after all. It’s a lie. Shoot, everybody knows I lie a lot.
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